Thursday, April 18, 2013

The Real Us?

Have y'all read the blogs and articles about the "masks" we wear? We don these veneers to hide our true selves, building walls and hedges to keep people out - to keep them from discovering our depths. We can have lifelong friendships and still hide parts of our selves from everyone.

So I was talking with an individual about my children and our love for sci-fi and fantasy. My girls absolutely have crushes on Captain America, Thor, the Incredible Hulk, Iron Man, Superman...They love Star Trek and the newer Trekkie movie...they haven't yet made it through Star Wars with me, though. We enjoy Stargate, Firefly & Serenity, Farscape was our late-night escape, and of course, Doctor Who.
My girls' favorite Doctor Who "thing" is "Are you my mummy?" I recently bought the Doctor Who's 50th Anniversary edition of Monopoly. LB calls it "Mono poly". We've played it 1x through and 2 tries today. Oh, and it's David Tenant's birthday. LB awakened singing "Happy Birthday to you" for him. CoM is baking a cake (her very first attempt on her own) and we're decorating it with blue icing to represent the TARDIS.

So how are we being more real? Well, I'm admitting to my faults and failings. I don't drive. My brother moved here with us to drive for us - especially with LB having seizures...CoM's asthma is under better control. I'm looking for a church family, one that preaches Christ and not "feel-good" or "pick-and-choose your religion". I'm learning more and more about myself as an individual and as to what type of counselor I will be. I'm labeling myself a "personal cheerleader", LOL.
I'm moving away from LU towards Capella; I truly think their program will better suit my learning needs and they are CACREP - and the school my dad attends as he pursues his doctorate. I will miss LU, the spiritual application to the theories of counseling and psychotherapy. I will appreciate the increase in accountability and interaction. I hope that I will be able to keep my friends made at/through LU.
I'm being myself with my FB friends - I'm also admitting that I am a Neek. Yes, a neek. My middle name on FB is now Neek.
I'm learning to prioritize: my God first, my self-care, my children: my family, their spiritual and intellectual well-being, their emotional balance, even our house has to take priority over my selfishness. Mostly it's been hit-and-miss. But I got my butt kicked into gear yesterday so it no longer looks like a tornado ripped through here. I'm looking forward to cooking this weekend. Clean kitchen, thanks to CoM, ground chuck, and I'm not sure what I'm throwing together, but I LOVE to cook and truly enjoy creating a mess in the kitchen. It's the clean-up that gets me down. But eventually I'll learn to do it with a joyful heart, right?
One of the many ways I want to be more in relationship with God is to spend more time in His Word. We have a fairly large backyard/patio area. A little table out there, some hot tea, my Bible sounds divine. Now if I can only get out of bed before the b-rats do ;)
I'm so glad we live within walking distance to several stores. I haven't made it to Michael's yet - though that was one of the first stores I scoped out for location. Sam's Club is just down the road, so my brother and I have come to an arrangement. I get to walk BY MYSELF to the store. He gets the girls ready when I call for a pick-up and I get that 30 minutes or so to myself so that I can recharge and take a small break from being mommy 24-7.
We're trying to stay ahead of the bills, especially since LB needs medical care and we're trying to get insurance for her but will end up paying out-of-pocket until we get that settled.

I keep glancing in the kitchen to see the girls covered in red velvet cake mix. CoM ran in here with her hands drenched in it..."Hey, mommy! I kinda made a mess. What does it look like to you?" Ummm, blood? Yup.

How can you be more real with yourself and with others? What are some healthy steps you can take to be more open and aware of your masks?

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